Hospice – Page 2

Let Me (Not) Give You Some Advice

Advice

Giving advice starts early!

I resist giving advice.

I relish giving advice.

Both statements are true.

Obviously, I spend considerable time with advice-giving by posting regular essays about hospice. I want those considering hospice (for themselves or others) to have resources during this crucial time. I want to offer suggestions—through questions, concerns, insights—for families currently served by hospice. Whether wondering about odd medical terms or nudging people to be honest about dying and death, I hope my views (advice!) help a few readers.

But advice is inherently tricky. What works for me may not work for you. At times I’ve asked friends if they’d like my advice about a situation they are facing. If they nod assent, I respond with, “Don’t trust anyone else’s advice but yours.” We laugh. We roll our eyes. It’s a joke! However, it also rings true. Follow your heart. Take the time to listen to your inner voice. If you are a person of faith, pray . . . and then be open to the ways the Holy provides guidance. Carefully seek input from trusted family members, friends, and professionals. Cautiously use the Internet with its smorgasbord of bad/good, weird/wonderful, fickle/fact-filled viewpoints. (Which includes my website on advice about hospice!) Read More →

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Hospice May Confront Our Habits

habit sign

Please ignore what I’m about to tell you regarding handling a hospice patient in the final hours or days of their life.

Hmmm?

Let me rephrase that first sentence: don’t assume I’m correct when wondering if turning a patient in hospice care every two hours near her or his last breath is necessary.

Hmmm?

One of the nurses at our weekly hospice team meetings—where the staff gathers to review each patient’s condition and needs—mentioned she’d read an article questioning the value of turning a patient near the end of life. She wasn’t recommending a change of policy for our treatment of dying patients, or suggesting that some patients be used as “experiments” to see how turning versus not turning impacts their well-being. Mostly, she seemed to be asking about how to improve the quality of life for families and their loved ones as they face the final days. Read More →

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What If the Deceased is Despised?

In the grief support groups that I’ve led, I frequently refer to the person who died as, Your beloved.

A while back, my boss attended a hospice conference. After returning to the office, she posed a question from one of the workshop presenters: what if the person being grieved was not loved?

Should everyone be called a “loved one” or “beloved?” Read More →

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