Archive for Excuses

With Hospice, Maybe Tomorrow Should Be Today

Scarlett O'Hara

My mother loved Gone With the Wind.

As a teen, she may have first seen it in 1939, the year it premiered. Much, much later, I watched it with Mom on television. Though I’m not a fan of the famous, sprawling film, who can forget the closing moment?

“Oh, I can’t think about this now! I’ll go crazy if I do! I’ll think about it tomorrow. But I must think about it. I must think about it. What is there to do? What is there that matters? Tara! Home. I’ll go home. And I’ll think of some way to get him back. After all, tomorrow is another day.”

The music swelled, and soon the final credits rolled as—viewers may forever assume—the clever Scarlett O’Hara schemed to rebuild Tara and perhaps get Rhett back and, well, keep living like there were 10,000 tomorrows.

Which finally leads me to ask: what’s your excuse for avoiding hospice? Read More →

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I’m Busy!

busyExpected or unexpected, after a long life or unfairly short, death comes.

It never arrives alone . . .

  • The bills, sympathy cards, and junk mail pile up like a paper Everest.
  • There are endless follow-up phone calls and half the people don’t call back.
  • You’ve found most documents for the estate, except several are missing key pages with signatures and you’ve looked everywhere, including under the beds.
  • The woman at the funeral home was so kind, but the insurance agency had a confusing phone menu and you still haven’t talked to a real person.
  • The dimwit at the credit card company demanded an official death certificate to close the account even though their web page promised they’d take copies.

Your loved one has died and the business of the estate swamps you. For some, nearly everything is organized because your loved one was a good planner. Folders were labeled. Contact info for insurance and credit card companies were on a spreadsheet. But even with easy-to-find details, “closing the estate” is exhausting.

However, most folks aren’t that organized.

Whether a loved one was thoughtful or neglectful about their finances, your energy in their last months (or years) has focused on coping with the ever-changing demands as their health declined. Who cares about future obligations when a loved one is in pain right now? You should’ve asked your Mom where she kept the stupid little key to the jewelry box when she was alive, but there was always tomorrow . . . until there wasn’t. You should’ve asked your husband about the new insurance agent’s name because the old one had retired. But it was more important to reminisce than to ask dumb questions about “business.”

And what if it was a “sudden death?” Literally everything will be a mess with non-stop stress. Read More →

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