Archive for Family

From the Mouths (and Gift Cards) of Children

The nine-year old kid wanted to give a newly born cousin a present by using the gift certificate he’d just received.

But I’m cynical and suspect people (even kids with ages based on single digits) have an agenda—usually a self-serving agenda—when they help others.

The nine-year old kid wanted to give a newly born cousin a present by using the gift certificate he’d just received. The certificate was for $20 and would allow him to buy anything at the local Walmart store.

Yeah, but this likely me-first little kid probably didn’t like stuff at Walmart and was only dumping an unwanted gift on the family of his unsuspecting infant cousin.

The nine-year old kid wanted to give a newly born cousin a present by using the gift certificate he’d just received. The certificate was for $20 and would allow him to buy anything at the local Walmart store. The boy had received the gift card, along with a basket of other goodies, from the Make-A-Wish Foundation.

Any-who, I’ve lived into my sixth decade and have witnessed or read about everything. There’s nothing much—good or bad, joyful or perverse—that surprises me anymore. Read More →

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A Cursed, Crushing, Conflicted Concoction of Feelings

Long ago, maybe around Easter, with Dad, my younger sister, and me . . .

When my father bellowed and ordered me to leave his home, it was as if a double-edge knife had penetrated my heart. Like a rusty, bent blade, it twisted with the volume and intensity of Dad’s outburst.

One side of the blade was love. One, hatred.

We did not know then about his dementia.

Odd how, with those we love the most and the surest, we can experience such damning and damaging of reactions.

Dad’s unexpected roar came partway through a mundane visit home, where I balanced time with my parents while attending a conference. Fine! If he didn’t want me around—though I had no clue why—I could find a motel near the downtown conference, crash with a friend attending the event, or head home where my wife and pets would at least treat me with respect.

Mom intervened.

Odd to sit around the old kitchen table, with my parents now married for six decades, and to have your mother forcefully demand that her husband apologize to their son. Dad did. Looking back now, why wasn’t it obvious? He was hardly smiling anymore. His eye contact with others had become random and held no welcome or curiosity. At that table, Mom chided him. Mom warned him. Mom prevailed. Read More →

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There’s No Gift Like Cancer?

This is what a hospice nurse said the patient said:

“My cancer is a gift from God.”

What is your first reaction to that? How about something like, You’ve got to be kidding!

Or . . . Does that patient have a terminal and mental illness? Or you’d be speechless and roll your eyes . . . or shake your head and mutter several tsk-tsks . . . or clamp your jaw shut because Mom told you that if you didn’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything.

Or would you nod your head in reluctant agreement?

Can you imagine that last reaction—nodding and agreeing—to the patient’s pronouncement? I can, though it helped to hear the nurse’s report of the patient’s complete sentence . . . Read More →

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