Archive for Feeling alone

Deceptive Grief

Not long ago, the hospice where I work sponsored a Saturday conference on grief.

There were workshops, from hands-on experiences like creating memory scrapbooks to offering current research-based insights into the whys and whats of grief. A labyrinth was available for walking, inviting symbolic journeys for individual reflection. I co-lead a section on writing to explore personal grief through words.

I think most participants had a meaningful time.

However, I’m confident many knew about the conference but were “no shows.” Maybe they wanted to take part, but didn’t possess the energy to leave the house. Maybe they wanted to take part, but hesitated about going alone. Maybe they wanted to take part, but couldn’t stand the thought of being around others. There might be strangers present, which could be overwhelming. There might be friends present, which could be overwhelming. They didn’t want to cry. They didn’t want to be around others who cried. They were afraid there wouldn’t be anything worth learning. They were afraid they might learn something and be confronted with change.

Excuses, like springtime weeds, are prolific. Read More →

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The Lonely Hours

dining_alone-2In the hurly-burly world of 50+ hour workweeks, we complain about never-having-enough-time, with transporting kids to soccer & dance & football & piano practice and weekends that feel over in ten minutes, and another fast-food fix tonight even though we promised to make a homemade meal and the church and Rotary and the blood bank calling about the Sunday school meeting on Wednesday night, the pancake breakfast on Saturday morning and donating our blood on Monday afternoon . . . and on and on and on it goes. Will we ever get any time to ourselves?

And then your spouse dies. Your beloved is buried.

Just “yesterday,” the hours between the workday’s end (5:00pm or so) and blessed bedtime (10:00pm or so) were filled with meals, chatting with our spouse, watching a favorite show, walking the dog and catching up with work. It was a relaxed time; a precious time. Now it’s the worst time. These are . . . the Lonely Hours. Who wants to eat alone? Every television show seems dull and trivial. The news has as much relevance as moldy bread. Read More →

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