Isn’t that the hardest of questions? For a potential hospice patient, the “right” or “best” time answer seems like a grim brew of unsettling and unfair choices.
Some would prefer their doctors provide the answer. Though there are exceptions, most doctors have spent scant time in training about “end of life” concerns. The lengthy education for a medical degree doesn’t leave much room in the schedule for learning about the dying and death of patients. Doctors, regardless of her or his specialty, are oriented toward healings, hopes, cures, and the next best option to try. It’s nearly impossible for physicians to view hospice as anything other than “giving up.” Who wants a doctor that will “give up” on you?
There are patients that secretly—or not so secretly—want a family member to make decisions about hospice. Do you truly want the people who blindly love you, who want you to “live forever,” and who frequently don’t understand the medical situation (with its strange terminology and complex treatments) to make your decisions? It’s nearly impossible for many family and friends to view hospice as anything other than a personal version of the “end of the world.” In presidential politics, we laugh about (and are deadly serious about) which candidate we want in the Oval Office in the awful event of nuclear war. Who, in any family, wants to trigger the “apocalypse” for a loved one?
But I will give you an answer. Read More →by