Archive for Grieving

Say This (But Not That) to the Griever

If you settle down into a chair beside them what can you say?

In a recent bereavement call I made to a woman grieving her husband’s death, she abruptly stated, “I never like it when someone asks, ‘How are you doing?’”


I was glad I hadn’t posed that question to her, though I’ll bet the majority of my calls include a variation of that simple four-word query. She said she didn’t like the question because the answer was too obvious: she was feeling lousy, terrible, horrible, and sometimes worse . . . thank you very much. She easily cried and knew she needed to cry and didn’t want to cry. She missed her husband and the illness that took his life was unexpected and unfair. Dealing with dying and death and grief were all inevitable events she’d prefer to avoid.

But she couldn’t. Read More →

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