Archive for Hearing

On Dying and (not) Hearing

listenNear death, hearing is possibly our last form of active connection with the world around us.

Sight, smell, taste, touch, and hearing usually fade with age. However, regardless of our accumulated birthdays, diseases (or the treatments for them) often limit our ability to sense anything other than sounds. Chatting, joking, or arguing while a loved one is lying motionless in a hospital bed are likely heard by everyone in the room.

I’ve witnessed doctors coaching siblings to continue sharing essential information with a seemingly comatose parent. And I’ve also witnessed nurses warning friends or family members to be careful with all conversations. The patient may hear the argument. The patient may comprehend that an adult child is berating a mother or father for not “pulling the plug.” I’ve been in rooms when individuals have joked about trivial things, completely ignoring their “loved one.” I’ve also been with people who stood on opposite sides of a hospital bed while debating money, cremation vs. burial, or where they’d have dinner later that night.

What is the last thing you want your loved one to hear?

Will you refer to him in the third person, as if he weren’t present in the room?

Will she overhear a casual cruel comment?

Will you criticize colleagues at work or whine about incompetent teachers at your kid’s school? Read More →

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