Don’t judge a book by its cover.

But we do, don’t we? Or what about this cliché:  first impressions matter? Indeed, they do.

My mother’s unexpected cancer diagnosis was around this time six years ago. After a problematic surgery, she quickly required a second one: an inevitable “corrective” procedure. These efforts were designed to provide temporary relief from a tumor-caused blockage in her colon. However, even if the first surgery had been successful, our family would have still needed a hospice evaluation.

Time, and Mom’s relentless, rotten stage-4 disease, was not on anyone’s side.

Since we were unfamiliar with the hospices where Mom lived, my two sisters and I briefly pondered transporting her to my home. Once there, she could be served by the hospice where I work. That thought evaporated like snow in the desert. Contemplating a grueling 170-mile ride and her living far away from supportive friends had too many negatives. For us back then (and for the many who suddenly face hospice care “right now”), each of the dwindling options seem to add more complications.

What should we do? Read More →

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