Archive for Death

What John Kennedy Said!

Kennedy speech

In this political season*, I recall President John Kennedy’s familiar, famous line from his inaugural: “Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.”

What about this version:

Ask not what your hospice can do for you, but ask what you can do for your hospice.

Now, wait just a New York minute . . .

Isn’t hospice supposed to do it all for you, as patient, as caregiver? Most hospice patients have spent a lifetime paying for Medicare. The nurses and other support staff on the hospice “team” are paid for, right? The medications for the terminal illness are covered in the hospice benefit, right? The equipment brought to your home—hospital-style bed, commode, oxygen, and more—are part of the deal, right?

Why should a caregiver or patient ask, What can I do for hospice?

What a crock!

Now that I’ve irked you, let me try to explain by briefly focusing on my ABCs of hospice care. Read More →

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Life Is a Death Sentence

One Door

I suppose some could describe hospice as choosing Door #1 or Door #1 or Door #1?

Hospice is a death sentence.

After all, any doctor that recommends hospice care will say—maybe bluntly, maybe hemming-and-hawing—there is likely six months or less __________.

  • A – To live
  • B – Until death

Isn’t choosing A’s “to live” a glass half-full answer? But don’t both really mean B? With few exceptions, no one leaves hospice care alive. Some joke about “graduating from hospice,” but how many of those jokesters return, sooner or later, to hear the same words: you have six months or less . . .?

I suppose some could describe hospice as choosing Door #1 or Door #1 or Door #1? In other words, a choice with no choice. Or perhaps, clinging to the oft-used justification for the mysteries of God’s ways, if a door closes, then a window will open? Except with hospice care, aren’t all the windows nailed shut?

Isn’t hospice care the worst thing possible when a physician suggests it?

Or do you think this . . . Read More →

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Hospice & 3 Guys: Guy Near Death

winter view

Three guys.

They didn’t know each other, and they only knew me in the briefest and most problematic of days.

One Was Dying. Another was Near Death. The third was During Grief.

I think of them now, years—and decades—later, equally grateful and humbled for what I learned while spending time with them. As always, I will try to change a little or a lot of their story to disguise each guy’s true identity.

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The Guy Near Death . . .

His rented hospital bed was in the living room, angled for him to see the Christmas tree but far enough away so his family wouldn’t trip on the presents stacked underneath the brightly decorated evergreen.

He was near death when I first visited.

He could talk. Could hear my prayers. Could squeeze my hand and smile. Read More →

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