Yeah, that’s me on the left, without my beard.

After an afternoon of talking with the bereaved, I returned the phone to its cradle and wondered: What is the worst death to experience?

During a typical week of work (which is less typical now since I’m sheltering-in-place at home), I’ll contact a lot of folks struggling with the death of a loved one. There are deceased spouses, children who are too young, children who are adults but were still too young, grandchildren, grandparents, cousins, best friends, mentors and colleagues, aunts and uncles, significant others, and the dearly departed that don’t fit a convenient category other than his or her death wrecked your heart.

Or does the worst death involve the circumstance? Is a sudden death from cancer worse than a lengthy dying from heart disease? Wouldn’t most prefer an accident (“He never saw the car that hit him and died in an instant.”) rather than the endless, incremental wasting away from dementia?

One of the earliest conversations I had with my boss after starting work as a Bereavement Support Specialist was about one particular relationship’s death that was often overlooked or downplayed. Read More →

by